Endorsed by the Night Police!
The Great Clapper Caper
Webb: "This is the City. Los Angeles, California. Some people rob for pleasure. Some rob because it's there. You never know. My name's Friday, I'm a cop. I was working the day watch out of Robbery when I got a call from the Acme School Bell Company. There'd been a robbery."
Carson: "There's been a robbery."
Webb: "Yes sir, what was it?"
Carson: "My clappers!"
Webb: "Your clappers?"
Carson: "Yeah, you know, those things inside a bell that makes them clang?"
Webb: "The clangers?"
Carson: "That's right, we call them clappers in the business."
Webb: "A clapper caper."
Carson: "What's that?"
Webb: "Nothing sir. Now, can I have the facts? What kind of clappers were stolen on this caper?"
Carson: "They were copper clappers."
Webb: "And where were they kept?"
Carson: "In the closet."
Webb: "Uh huh. You have any ideas who might have taken the copper clappers from the closet?"
Carson: "Well, just one. I fired a man. He swore he'd get even."
Webb: "What was his name?"
Carson: "Claude Cooper"
Webb: "You think he'd..."
Carson: "That that's right. I think Claude Cooper copped my copper clappers. Kept in a closet."
Webb: "You know where this Claude Cooper is from?"
Carson: "Yeah. Cleveland"
Webb: "That figures. That figures."
Carson: "What makes it worse, they were clean."
Webb: "Clean copper clappers."
Carson: "That's right."
Webb: "Why do you think Cleveland's Claude Cooper would cop your clean copper clappers kept in your closet?"
Carson: "Only one reason."
Webb: "What's that?"
Carson: "He's a kleptomaniac."
Webb: "Who first discovered the copper clappers were copped?"
Carson: "My cleaning woman, Clara Clifford."
Webb: "That figures. Now let me see if I got the facts straight here. Cleaning woman Clara Clifford discovered your clean copper clappers kept in a closet were copped by Claude Cooper the kleptomaniac from Cleveland. Now, is that about it?"
Carson: "One other thing."
Webb: "What's that?"
Carson: "If I ever catch kleptomaniac Claude Cooper from Cleveland who copped my clean copper clappers kept in the closet..."
Webb: "Yes?"
Carson: "I'll clobber him!"
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